Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson. How Involved Was David Cameron.

Jimmy-Murdoch-and-the-News-fo-the-World As the Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson case gains momentum, we learn today that they had a six year affair from 1998. Wow, lucky Grant Mitchell didn’t find out, I mean, it’s all about family ain’t it. What would Peggy, Phil, and Sam (she was the one with the lump of nose missing) have thought?

Anyway, enough of the jokes, what I am really waiting for are revelations about just how close they both were to Dave Cameron LOL. We already know Brooks and Cameron were very close, exchanging frequent texts often ending in LOL, until she told him it means “laugh out loud” and not “lots of love”.

And lets not forget that Dave employed Coulson against much advice that he was unsuitable. So just why did Dave insist on employing Rebekahs ex lover?

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President Obama Catches Fainting Woman During Obamacare Speech.

obama1 I’m not going to spend too much time writing about this, here’s the short version.

Obama gives speech about Obamacare, woman faints, Obama turns around just in time to save her. Makes joke about long speech, waits for applause.

The message, “trust me, I’m the man to save you all”

Just a bit too obvious this time Barry, we’ve seen it all before.

Cliff Richard Waves 200 Children Off To Florida.

I’ll be really honest here, it ruined my dinner tonight, which is fine except it was my favourite Bassa fish by Youngs. Watching the evening news they featured an item that genuinely made me feel sick.
Cliff2Sir Cliff Richard, much like the Royal Family and Rolf Harris has a large loyal fan base, therefore if you mention his name in any form of negative way, out come the blue rinse trolls to defend their saintly hero. I have to confess that the schoolboy humour in me always chuckles at Richard’s middle name, Roger, lmao, Harry Roger Webb.

Now this story is wrong on many levels, but I’ll stick to the obvious.

200 children from across the South East are on their way to America – as part of the biggest trip in the world to take seriously ill and disabled youngsters to theme parks in Florida. They were waved off by Sir Cliff Richard as they left Heathrow this morning.

What the hell is going on here? 200 children off to Florida, and they drag out the 73 year old “bachelor boy”, whose appearance is as fake as his cover stories, to wave them off. When I say dragged out, considering he spends most of his time in, where is it? oh yes Barbados, that was a pretty long drag. Let’s face it, I doubt if any of them had the slightest idea who he was, it must have been a bit like having an elderly embarrassing relative gate crashing a birthday party.

Trying to improve your public image  Cliff? I wonder where he stayed, maybe a nice local guest house?

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Sam Laidlaw

How’s it going out there? Nights starting to draw in, clocks going back soon, chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Starting to feel a bit chilly in the evenings? Good, because you won’t be able to afford to turn the heating on, so just die slowly of hypothermia and reduce the surplus population.

The very smart man pictured above is Sam, shame it wasn’t Sid really. To be more precise, his name is William Samuel Hugh Laidlaw, son of Sir Christopher Laidlaw (1922-2010), former Chairman of BP. Quite why he calls himself Sam is none of my business, perhaps Willy doesn’t have  the right gravitas. Guess where Willy was educated, got it in one, Eton. then onto Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge. Hang on a minute, isn’t that the same college that Ken Clarke and Peter Goldsmith attended? Yes, but not at the same time. Anyway, Willy, sorry, Sam is CEO of Centrica, or British Gas to you and me, who have just announced another shameful price hike of 9.2%.

He will of course blame it on global prices, and needing to invest in infrastructure blah de blah, but fail to mention his £2.35 million salary, an increase of 36% on his 2008 salary. Oh, and the £2.35 million is basic, with bonuses it comes to a grotesque £4.97 million according to the Mail. But here’s the killer punch, during 2011, Mr Laidlaw received heating discounts worth almost £700 from Centrica – more than half the average family bill.

It doesn’t have to be like this people, you have the power to change it, or sit back and watch granny die, your choice.

As we are fast approaching the festive season, here is a little Christmas Carol for you Sam.

  • “At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge, … it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.”
    “Are there no prisons?”
    “Plenty of prisons…”
    “And the Union workhouses.” demanded Scrooge. “Are they still in operation?”
    “Both very busy, sir…”
    “Those who are badly off must go there.”
    “Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.”
    “If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

Sweet dreams Sam,

Laidlaw Scrooge

Kate Middleton. Is This The Stomach Of A New Mother?

Kate 1These people are so arrogant, they don’t even try these days. They think the public is so blind, we can’t see the obvious, even when it is there in full view.

Fresh on the heels of Prince Harry giving the old Masonic hand shake, we have alleged new mother Kate playing volley ball. How lovely. these super fit Royals are wonderful aren’t they.

Now call be an old skeptic, but is this really the stomach of a woman who was hospitalised with severe morning sickness, went full term and gave birth to an 8lb 6oz baby boy on July 22 2013, less than 3 months ago, I don’t think so.

Let’s have a quick recap, here is a snap of Kate, pre-birth.

kate 5

Kate pregnant, or is it a body suit? who knows, nice thin fingers, no sign of puffiness.

Kate 4

Kate leaves hospital, nice thin fingers, still wearing the body suit, who’s baby is it?

Kate 1

Less than three months later? Dear oh dear, there is something wrong here!

Kate 1a

I must rush out and get a commemorative mug.

Prince Harry Gives Away Masonic Connection

Harry 2a

I was just thinking while I was writing this, do you remember Harry Hewitt, “ee, by eck chuck” we do, he were wedded to Concepta, and a bezzie mucker of Len Fairclough. (sorry for the deliberate mix of Mancunian, Yorkshire and Scouse, but I live sarff of Watford). I’ve no idea why that popped into my head, so sorry.

Prince Harry, was photographed today shaking hands with football legend Sir Bobby Charlton, well cop a gander at the old hand shake. I thought to myself, funny, I wonder if he hurt his thumb playing rugby earlier? What do you think?

Grip of an Entered Apprentice It says in my book of funny hand shakes that it is the “Grip of an Entered Apprentice”, but what do I know?

The other photos are fun though.

harry 4

Who does that girl remind  me of?

Who does that girl remind me of?

Mail Does Another Story To Vilify People On Benefits

So, the Mail has dug up another family happy to parade their circumstances to the nation, and leave themselves open to vile comments from internet trolls who have nothing better to do with their time than cast judgement over people they know nothing about. I have to say, the intellectual debate these stories instigate in the comments section is always a joy to read.

Anyway, if you’re going to cover  a story about benefit scroungers, please do a better job, we expect higher standards from the Mail.

Firstly, the story is credited to Anna Edwards, nice job Anna, what is it now, Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V for copy and paste, well done, and they pay you how much for that? The story also appears, almost verbatim on, which you can read here, and was written by Ben Cusack. Considering the images come from SWNS, I would guess they flogged it to the Mail, a win win situation.

Secondly, whoever took the pictures forgot to tell all of the kids to look glum, it doesn’t really work when they smile, and look very well cared for. Also, here’s a tip, kick over a few things to make the place look untidy, anyone on any form of benefits shouldn’t live in a clean home, however small.

Thirdly, I don’t care if they have 15 children, they are both working, and probably only part-time because that’s all they can get, so any money they receive, they are entitled to.

Fourthly, the contraception part of the article is a cheap dig, almost certainly said in an off guarded moment.

Fifthly, sorry if they haven’t got any relatives with a multi-million pound mansion  who will let them live rent free like IDS.

Sixthly, SWNS, sort out your keyboards, is it # or £?

Seventhly, that coffee looks really weak, yuk

Eighthly, luv the iphone you sneaked into the picture.

Ninethly, you forgot to Photoshop a much bigger plasma TV onto the wall.

Tenthly, has Madison got another pair of socks like that?

This is a non story, designed to add fuel to the “let them starve” debate. Trouble is, it doesn’t work, because all I can see is a happy family, with happy children who will grow up with the benefit of a great family around them. Oops, I used the benefit word again.

(sorry about the strange numbering system, it got a got confusing after fifthly.)

Read the Mails version here, if you must.