“This is 2LO calling” is how it all started on 11 May 1922, making “Auntie” 91 next week.
Nothing against old people, but “Auntie” has really seen better days. Suffering from, at best temporary amnesia, and at worst a bad case of Alzheimer’s she has completely forgotten what went on within her many rooms since the 1960’s.
Today, more nauseating revelations about one of her favourite sons, little Stuart Hall, have been splashed all over the media. Of course “Auntie” knew what little Stu was up to, but he was such a lovely boy, always making people laugh, and of course friends of Mrs Windsors family, so she just thought it was a phase he was going through, and would soon grow out of, well, by the time he was in his 80’s anyway.
It seems that not only was “Auntie” aware of the naughty side of little Stu, but lots of her helpers were as well. A bit like last year when another one of her naughty little boys, Sir Jim’ll Fix it Savile was exposed as a filthy old pervert. Everyone loved Jim’ll so much, and he was another close friend of Mrs Windsors family, it was best to just let him get on with it.
You see, we can’t really blame “Auntie” can we, she is very busy gossiping like an old washer women, spreading the tittle tattle her big friends in the government have whispered to her. It’s not easy being a voice for the establishment, even harder making the lies she spreads believable.
Thank goodness she gets plenty of money to create the illusion of being a trusted old lady. Luckily, her friends in Whitehall passed a law so the people she lies to have to pay her as well, a sort of win win situation.
But it is a bit worrying for the old girl. After all, she did her best to keep the Stu and Jim’ll stories to herself. What about all of the other mainstream Saturday night celebs she has been covering up? After all, if everyone knew about Jim’ll and Stu, what about the others?
“Auntie” has many different rooms in her big houses. Some of them are kept especially for making radio programs, of which some are sent all around the globe, helping to manipulate world events. In other rooms, “Auntie” makes special television programs to hynotise people into thinking the way she want’s them too. Some of the programs are about sport, to tap into the deepest primal instincts, some are about history, or to be specific, her version of history. She even makes programs for the little children, which is lovely because she can start to brainwash them right from the start.
But, we are starting to find out now, she has very special rooms where her really naughty boy’s and girls can have special fun, and because she is a clever old “Auntie”, she promises not to tell anyone. Well, as far as I’m concerned enough is enough. The BBC is outdated and totally discredited. It only survives because enough people still pay the licence fee. If every person who is really sick of the hypocrisy of the BBC simply refused to pay, they would have to take notice.