News of The World to Close

Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword.
That bastion of British journalism, The News of the Screws, that has destroyed so many peoples careers and lives in the name of open journalism, has finally been shafted by multi billionaire freedom lover Mr Rupert Murdoch.
After months of damaging publicity, and the rush of “Rats Leaving a Sinking Ship” by the advertisers, dear old Uncle Rupert has pulled the plug. Closing down the paper does not solve the problem. What has happened to the Editor at the time of the Milly Dowler phone hacking, oh yes, she is still C.E. of News International.
Please don’t be fooled by this ridiculous gesture, it is our guess that the News of the Screws will be back under a different name, maybe The Sun on Sunday, I can already hear the publicity machine screaming “The paper that puts the Sun into Sundays”. The News of the Screws and the Sun are the only two profitable publications in the stable, so Uncle Rupert will not allow it to die.
Anyway, he has far more important things on his mind at the moment, still trying to gain total control of BskyB, and what’s even funnier, millions of UK viewers still pay him to watch that stuff.